Best Of The Web: Seeking

Seeking is an interesting web series. Yes, the storyline of a woman in her mid to late twenties, trying to find the right guy in a city full of weirdos, sexists, and cheaters is bit over used; but when it comes to any art form, one could say that nothing is new and everything has been repackaged in some way.

 The story centers on the dating adventures of Ella. The first episode we meet her and her two other male roommates—which sort of gives me the Three’s Company vibes—one is gay, his name is Isaac, and the other is a stereotypical player, Jeremy—pretty much a repackaged Jack. The trio has great chemistry and their friendship sets the humor and overall tone of the series. Ella and Isaac begin a bet that New York does indeed carry her version of Dr. Dreamy, she simply has to give them a chance. So she has to go on one date a week and only Jeremy can judge who the weirdos and who is up next to play her genuine love interest. If Ella loses, she has to buy Isaac his lubrication at their neighborhood deli at 3pm, while kids are coming home from school—yikes; and if Isaac loses, he has to hand wash all of Ella’s underwear. And yes there is a winner and a loser each and every week.

On the first date we are introduced to Jason, a Jewish guy she met while dancing the horah. He is the classic jerk, that was apparent as soon as he asked her out and then accidentally let his ‘inside voice’ slip; after she agreed to go on the date with him, he said, "well that was easy, what did your boyfriend breakup with you last night or something?" Definitely not the smoothest, but she still slept with him—and regretted it. The next date was with James, a married man, who of course did not tell her until he was backed into a corner. Then she went on a date, was Phineas Malcolm III or ‘Turd" for short. He seemed sweet but then it became a little too clear that he was stalking her before this date—yeah definitely gives you the vibes. However, she soldiers on into the dating world. 

Well, after that whirlwind of failures, Ella was forced to seek comfort the only way she seems to know how—through sex. She slipped into Jeremy, her roommates’ room to relieve sexual and emotional frustration. This part of the series, may leave you in as much disagreement as I was. But every woman is different, and sometimes we seek comfort in ways that are easily judged by society—like having sex with your emotionally unavailable roommate.   

To get personal for a moment, I cannot identify with Ella and the way she seeks comfort through sex.  However, I can relate to how hard the dating game is. Putting yourself out there is hard, and there are no real rules, but there are signs. Like there is a guy she she dates who shows a deep obsession with the Civil War. He wore pants from the 1860s and refused to carry money because it wasn't ‘historically accurate'; even tried to justify slavery a little bit—he definitely should've made Ella rethink how she vets men, especially if she's using dating apps like Tinder. And to be honest, I think that's exactly what she did because the next episode showed her going out on a date with herself. I don't know if it was the Civil War guy or her female friend, Har, forcing the conversation about self-respect, but there was a change in Ella.

She did meet another potential romantic interest on one date at a sushi bar. But the guy seemed very sexual for a first encounter; however, Ella, being Ella, was very much into his over sexualized flirtations. That should've been a red flag but she had to wait until one of Jeremy's dates—using this term loosely— recognized him as ‘Guy Gangbang' to realize that she needs to improve her vetting process.

Regardless of if mine or your principles personally don't align with Ella's, I feel like our plight is the same; the dating game is rigged, you never get prince charming when you looking for him. And I think everyone will enjoy the conversations they bring to the forefront. Because at the end of the day, whether a girl is wearing ‘very little' or ‘too much', whether she is ‘sexual' or a ‘prude', none of that should affect the way a man treats you. And I, like many other women, have come to realize that a man will sexualize a woman regardless of what she is wearing, what she says or how she acts. And it's about time more scripted series begin to get this message across more on more platforms, because it's imperative for the next generation to be able to just figure it out like us.