For The Love Of Soaps: The Search For EJ DiMera

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Days Of Our Lives: Eric demands to know why Sami pepper-sprayed Nicole. She explains she expected Kristen to answer the door, since Stefan said she would be at this address. Sami believes Nicole and Kristen are colluding together to keep EJ hidden. Nicole denies it, insisting Xander is the one working with Kristen. Sami leaves to look for clues about Kristen’s whereabouts at their hotel. She sneaks into a room, where she’s greeted by the hotel manager with the mangiest beard in existence. He says he recognizes Kristen from Sami’s picture, but not Xander. Instead, he says she was with another man, who happens to be Brady. Again, words are not enough to describe this man’s beard; he looks like a red-bearded Tom Hanks in Castaway. I cannot fathom how he’s the face of any business, much less a hotel.

Xander and Kristen find Brady’s crowbar outside and realize they have company. Nice job, slick. As Brady approaches EJ’s wheelchair, Xander whacks him in the head. They tie him up and interrogate him. When Brady admits he used her to find EJ, she hits him in the face with her gun. This was really poor acting, as Kristen lightly drags the gun across his face instead of swinging with any force. After Brady’s discovery, Kristen decides they need to abort their mission.

Eric finally follows Xander to the secret warehouse but is also followed by Sami. She yells entirely too loudly for the occasion— I can see her getting “shhed” in movie theaters, too. They break into the warehouse together. Eric finds the recording of Nicole’s confession, but gets knocked out by Xander. It’s apparently so simple to sneak up on Brady and Eric…Sami finds the “E.D.” door, but only finds Brady, which greatly disappoints her. Sami scolds Brady for leaving town with Kristen, but Brady explains his plan to find EJ and help Sami. Unfortunately, this week does not conclude with an EJ discovery; if being physically incapacitated wasn’t enough, EJ has an entire search party looking for him to no avail. They better reunite Sami and EJ next week.

Gabi tries to convince Chad that Abigail is relapsing. For now, Chad denies her claims, believing his wife is just having a bad week. Gabi says to herself that she’s moving to “Plan B.” She calls Abigail and invites her to Sonny’s house to chat. When Abigail arrives, Gabi begs her for forgiveness and wants to help her. She says she doesn’t believe her as she sips the tainted tea Gabi made for her. For the love of God, Abigail, stop accepting things from Gabi! Gabi puts the black wig on Abigail and changes her clothes. At this point, she’s not only drugged a pregnant woman, but violated her personal privacy. This is so far beyond wrong!

Gabi moves Abigail to Stefan’s living room. How is Gabi so strong? She returns to Sonny’s and hits herself in the head with the tea tray. Just then, Chad walks in and helps her to her feet. She shares her made-up story about Gabby hitting her and spitting in her face before storming out of the house.  When Chad sets off to Stefan’s, Gabi asks Kate to come help her. After calling her a liar and a cheat, Kate refuses to help Gabi create more problems for Abigail. When Kate is the voice of reason, there is a major problem in the room. While Chad asks Abigail for answers, she denies any relapses until Kate busts in and backs up Gabi’s story. It appears Gabi is going to get away with everything, this time because she’s blackmailing Kate.

Ben sneaks into Ciara’s room to thank her for believing in him. They start to kiss, when Ciara wakes up. Uh oh, dreaming about the guy you just kicked out of your apartment is bad news for your boyfriend. She wakes up to Tripp, who tells her “you may feel mean when you wake up, but you’re beautiful.” What does that even mean, man? They complain about how hungry they are, instead of getting out of bed and procuring a meal. What is wrong with these millennials?

Meanwhile, Ben sits down for breakfast at Claire’s job, where she tries to talk him into breaking up Tripp and Ciara. Ben responds with an epic line: “Imagine we’re at a Brady family reunion where Ciara says ‘this is my boyfriend Ben. He murdered three people, but he’s a great guy.’” It’s such a perfect breakdown of the situation. She asks him to help her, so she can be with Tripp. She convinces him, and the seal the deal with a handshake when the lazy couple shows up, having finally gotten out of bed. After some light flirting with Ben, Tripp whisks Ciara back to their bedroom. Instead of eating, they have a full-on food fight! These two were just whining about being hungry; having a food fight is NOT a smart plan. In all seriousness, Ben is going to end up with Ciara and Tripp will hate Claire as a result. Ciara likes the convenience of Tripp but might be in love with Ben.

Lucas has had enough of Bonnie’s games and threatens her with a custody lawsuit. She offers her word that she won’t leave town with the baby, but her word has zero value. Chloe sticks up for her beau, telling Bonnie she isn’t fit to raise a hamster, much less a baby. Chloe calls her a “lying, scheming, slimy ex-con.” No holding back from Chloe. When Mimi tries to stick up for her mother, Chloe storms away with her baby. The longstanding relationship between Mimi and Chloe is going to boil over eventually; they were enemies in high school and the grudge is being held by both sides. After the arguing boils over, Lucas and Chloe wheel the baby away.

Mimi tries to fix her situation by asking Belle to represent her mother in the custody case. Belle declines, citing her lack of desire to be between Mimi and Chloe. Mimi decides to go all-in, telling Belle the baby is actually her daughter, that she murdered her father and that Lucas is only related to the real father, Rex. With all the secrets Mimi got off her chest, I just hope Belle is charging by the minute for her therapy sessions.

Oh, Bonnie also eats lots of baby food and comments about how tasty it is. Can someone explain how she remains a free citizen at this point?

Finally, Xander surprises Nicole at home, where he sees her packed luggage. After realizing her plan was to leave with Eric, he suggests a family vacation, but not before he “lets her see Eric one more time before [he] slits his throat.” What a nice man. Xander takes her and Holly to the warehouse so she can say her goodbyes. As he’s unlocking the door, she smashes him in the head with a metal Thermos, knocking him out. Everyone on this show is going to have a traumatic brain injury after this week. Nicole finds herself lost in a hallway full of initialed doors, screaming out Eric’s name in hopes of finding him.

What an action-packed week!

General Hospital: Drew contemplates whether or not to take the DA’s deal for his memories. He asks Franco for advice, who tells him it’s too good to be true. He talks to Peter too but gets no concrete answers there, either. I can’t even imagine how terrible he feels, with both decisions hurting his loved ones. He meets with Margaux and tells her he’s been thinking about turning her into the police for hiding evidence. Unless he was wearing a wire, she knows he has no evidence against her and needs his help to get justice for her father. When Drew tells her Sonny was just a stupid kid, Margaux reveals her biggest issue with the murder: her father’s murder led Sonny to become the biggest mobster on the east coast. The truth came out; this investigation has never been about her estranged father. This is all about her desire to improve her career by taking down a notorious mobster. Thankfully, Drew declines to help her and tells her to do whatever she wants with the flash drive. Drew realizes he’ll forget the birth of his children and the wonderful moments he’s experienced over the past five years. He’s a strong man that made this writer smile from ear to ear.

After hearing that Sasha stood up Nina, Valentin finds her and tries to convince her Nina deserves another chance. As someone who knows how it feels to want a second chance with Nina, he tells Sasha she might regret her decision. Sasha finds Nina and admits Valentin is the reason she decided to see her again. With this new chance, Nina shows Sasha pictures of her family and friends and says they all would love to meet her. While this is better than their first encounter, this doesn’t seem she’s taking it slow. Nina tells Sasha her birth father, Silas, has passed but that she was conceived out of love. After everything, Sasha cancels her flight, so she can get to know Nina and Port Charles better. Finally, a positive outcome in Port Charles!

Young Spencer returns for a cameo, advising Josslyn to date other people to get Oscar’s attention. Teenage Derek would have run back to Josslyn immediately. She calls Cameron and asks him to be her boyfriend. He heads straight to her house, where she explains her idea is to get Oscar back by making him jealous. As awful as Cameron is, I feel badly for him. He obviously cares about Joss and is not a plaything in her plot to get her boyfriend back. Although Joss is having second thoughts, Cameron agrees to be her fake boyfriend, and they take a selfie together to seal the deal. I don’t think Oscar will buy this plan; unless Joss and Cameron kiss each other in front of him, it doesn’t seem plausible that he’ll believe it.

Nelle tells Brad how grown up Wiley looks, which Carly immediately recognizes as odd. When did Nelle meet the baby, aside from her secret meeting in the woods? Nelle avoids the question and tells the group she’s pleading no contest to the charges and says she’s doing Michael a service by keeping him from testifying. Clearly, Nelle misunderstood her lawyer’s advice, because the mountain of evidence, including a video and audio recorded confession, will keep her imprisoned for most of her adult life. Thankfully, they were right as Nelle receives the maximum sentence for her charges. Unfortunately, the damage she caused is irreversible as Michael continues to grieve his child, even though his real baby is right in front of his face.

The loser of the week is Laura. After repeated attempts at seducing her husband, Ryan is just not interested. She tries playing their special song and candlelight dinner with wine and nothing works. His “patients” are more important than being intimate with his wife, and she should notice the red flags. She knows something is off about him but can’t pinpoint it. Like I’ve said in past weeks, eventually she will be the one to figure out the truth.

Griffin and Kiki FINALLY get it on in a marathon session. They really pushed the boundaries of sexual limits on network television. Someone turned the thermostat up in this room!

Sonny and Jason wonder if Drew is going to take the DA’s deal, effectively putting both of them in prison. They also devise a plan to show Margaux the life her father was willingly involved with. Just then, Sam walks in, saying she’s been put on this case to help disprove Margaux’s theory. She tells Jason that Spinelli put her on the case to play matchmaker; this is very much the case because Sam and Jason belong together and even Spinelli knows that. Later, Sam shows Sonny and Jason a picture from Margaux’s childhood. Sonny recognizes her mother as a woman his old mob boss, Scully, had an affair with, effectively giving the prosecution motive for the DA’s father’s murder. This is a major piece of evidence against Sonny and should probably be destroyed if he wants to remain a free man.

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Performer Of The Week: Billy Miller as Drew Cain. Drew had a tough choice, deciding whether to take Margaux’s deal to bring down Sonny and Jason in exchange for his memories. His desire for advice and eventual destruction of Margaux were excellently acted by Miller. Hopefully, Drew’s decision on his memories will lift a heavy burden off his back and Miller will continue to shine brightly in the future.

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Update: DOOL star Jen Lilley shared a heartbreaking story with her fans this week: she suffered a miscarriage. However, there was also some good news as Lilley revealed her adopted son is “legally untethered” from his biological parents. Our thoughts and prayers are with you, Jen.

Patricia Bethune says she’s returning in her role as the evil nurse Mary Pat later this month. She teased on her Instagram to “set your schedule for Halloween week.”