For The Love Of Soaps: The Wild Card Known As Hattie Adams

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Days Of Our Lives: What a week! At the hospital, Kayla pulls the plug on Marlena’s life support. While Belle and Sami are in the middle of blaming each other for her passing, she miraculously wakes up. Almost immediately, she blames Belle and Sami for their roles in her current condition, which seems very out of place. Marlena is one of the politest characters on the show and her actions were confusing. Moments later, we figure out why she was acting oddly; she isn’t Marlena, but Hattie Adams. Instead of being surprised by this news, John’s response is the opposite. We find out that Roman and John broke Hattie out of prison to be Marlena’s body double while they hide Marlena in the basement in order to extend her window for recovery. Hattie is incredibly horny, hitting on everyone she can, and tries to take advantage of her freedom in any way possible. She is a real wild card; a character Days has been crying for all season. Her final moment of the week was bringing up the brilliant idea of getting married in the hospital as soon as possible. John’s blank response is priceless.

Chloe visits Bonnie in the interrogation room, where she’s been for what feels like an entire week. Why isn’t she in a cell? Chloe wants the truth about Bonnie Jr.’s real father. Chloe goes for the jugular, telling Bonnie “[her] uterus is too dusty to carry a child.” She also tells her that she killed El Fideo, a criminal Bonnie says, “makes Scarface look like a teddy bear.” Chloe has had enough of Bonnie’s manipulative games. Lucas gets the paternity results, proving Bonnie Jr. is his baby. I’m not buying this; Bonnie looked entirely too surprised to hear that he is the father. After this news, Lucas falls apart, asking Adrienne to drop the charges against Bonnie. She is shocked and unable to make any decision. This storyline is incredibly farfetched. Why would Bonnie’s baby be taken away by child services if Lucas is the father? If Adrienne drops the charges, it seems there is already a mountain of evidence against Bonnie without her testimony. I don’t know why the writers made such a convoluted plotline.

Gabi continues her scheming to steal Chad from Abigail. She tries to invite herself to their family picnic, which Chad declines. She goes to the hospital to get a prescription filled and sees Kayla. Kayla makes a brilliant suggestion that Gabi should meet with a psychiatrist. We discover the prescription was for sedatives that she puts in Abigail’s coffee. She drinks her coffee right before leaving for the picnic and passes out on the couch. After carrying Abigail to her bedroom, she tries to put a brown wig on her when Chad comes home. Gabi is somehow able to sneak out of the front door (that place is huge, there must be a backdoor somewhere) without Chad finding her. Gabi then reveals to Kate her inception-style plan of messing with Abigail’s head to Kate. Her plan is to break Chad and Abby up so her and Chad can raise their children together. She wants to confuse and manipulate Abigail into becoming Gabby, which is incredibly psychopathic.

Shawn visits the loft looking for Ciara. Unfortunately, she is at the precinct to see Ben. She takes her mother’s side and gives several reasons why he’s guilty; however, Ben won’t confess. He thinks Hope planted the evidence to set him up. Rafe even questions the validity of her new evidence, since it looks entirely too convenient to be true. As I’ve said in past reviews, Hope can’t possibly be objective with this case because her daughter is the victim. Ben will never get justice with Hope in charge of the investigation.

At the end of the week, Jen and Eric are making out with each other when Jen abruptly stops kissing him. She tells him she’s been lying to him and must tell him the truth. Will Eve finally suffer consequences for her plotting? How will Eric respond to the secret? We’ll have to wait until next week to find out.

General Hospital: DA Dawson and Commissioner Ashford interrogate Mike in Sonny’s home, which is an odd tactic. Against everyone’s advice, Mike tells them he was only at Charlie’s Pub to support his daughter, who is no longer alive. Right afterwards, he breaks down emotionally, forcing Jordan to apologize for their unjust questioning. After discovering the victim’s identity and getting the ballistics report, the police start to put the pieces of the case together. They return to Sonny’s to ask him about the deceased, Vincent Marino. He denies any knowledge of that name, even though they know he was involved with Sonny’s ex-employer. Dawson reveals that Mr. Marino was actually her father. It’s a shocking reveal and leaves us wondering what lengths the DA will go to in order to find his killer. It still infuriates me that Ashford and Dawson are interrogating a man who can’t remember the previous day, expecting him to give valuable information on something that happened decades ago. It’s a serious miscarriage of justice and entirely unethical.

The teenage love triangle gets even messier this week. Oscar tells Josslyn that he knows Cameron kissed her and that he punched him in the face for it. Josslyn is shocked, but also slightly excited that Oscar fought for her honor. Meanwhile, Cameron tells his mommy that he got punched because he kissed Joss. Cameron is such a pathetic child compared to Oscar, who handles his business maturely. Afterwards, Cameron discovers his mother’s open computer on a page about brain tumors and cancer and overhears a voicemail from Franco about Oscar’s cancer diagnosis. COME ON, FRANCO! He sees Oscar and Josslyn at community service and demands the truth from Oscar. When Oscar looks befuddled, he tells Oscar that he has cancer. Cameron is Ava-level terrible. He has nothing better to do than poke people in uncomfortable places. He’s the living embodiment of an internet troll.

Kim’s plan to keep Oscar’s diagnosis a secret is coming unraveled. She receives test results, showing that he should at least make it past his next birthday. Wow, what positive news! She decides to tell him after his birthday, which is exactly what every kid wants for his birthday. Drew asks Franco for advice about whether or not to tell Oscar. Franco advises him to put himself in Oscar’s shoes. Drew tells Kim that he’s going to tell Oscar the truth, with or without her. Finally, someone realizes that Oscar deserves the truth. It’s better for him to know the truth so he can take steps to lives his best life and change his lifestyle to extend his time on this earth.

Ryan, posing as his twin brother, has dinner with his brother’s ex, Lucy. At dinner, he continues acting irrationally and brings up his torture of Felicia among other criminal acts. He also meets with Franco where he shows he has no idea about Franco’s past and gives him useless, cliché advice about his future with Elizabeth. While Ryan and Dr. Chamberlain are twins, there are very few similarities in their personalities. Franco and Lulu realize something is different about the doctor, and I expect someone will see through his pathetic impersonation sooner rather than later.

Ava goes after Kiki again about her relationship with Griffin, which Kiki responds with a slap to Ava’s face. What an exciting moment. Ava admits to reporting Griffin to the Archdiocese, which resulted in his excommunication from the priesthood. Kiki goes back to her apartment and takes her anger out on her broken radiator with a mallet. Griffin knocks on the door, telling Kik the entire floor has faulty air conditioning. As they laugh together, Ava shows up to apologize to Kiki. Those warm feelings are only temporary, as Griffin’s mere presence turns her back into the vengeful woman she’s known as. Kiki and Ava are so different that I don’t see their relationship being repairable. Ava is a champion grudge-holder and Kiki won’t give in to her.

There were also two short-lived teases this week. Wiley was diagnosed with a heart condition that Carly realizes both Morgan and Michael had as infants. Will any further testing reveal Michael as the real father?

Curtis meets with a woman named Sasha, who he thinks is Nina’s daughter, even though she insists she wasn’t adopted. However, she agrees to give him her DNA, so he can find out the truth. Both storylines have serious implications and will likely drag out until the winter.

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Performer Of The Week: Deirdre Hall as Hattie Adams. What a shocker! Hattie Adams shakes up everyone she interacts with. She tells Belle she tried to pull the plug on her mother and shames Sami for shooting her in the chest. Hattie tries to seduce Roman into her hospital bed and begs John for a kiss. She also demands a cheeseburger with fries and a swift removal from the hospital or she’ll reveal their felony plot. Hall acts very differently from her usual portrayal of Marlena and made me laugh several times this week.

Update: Shockingly, Tyler Christopher took a sudden leave from Days and will be replaced by GH alum Brandon Barash in the role of Stefan DiMera. Unfortunately, there hasn’t been any further explanation for his exit.

Some GH fans are worried that Kim Shriner (Scott Baldwin) may be focused on life beyond the soap opera after announcing “a great mystery job” on Twitter. While details are scant, fans would be upset if the notable lawyer left the cast.